Rough Week

So, I knew I would be having some ups and downs while I was down here and I must admit this has been a rough week. I find if I think in the long term, two years is a really long time and it really isnt healthy to think too far in the future. i need to just take one day at a time. i am in town today and it is nice to get out of the community every now and then. we have a big group in town and i think my problems started when they brought in a virus and i came down with the stomach flu on friday. i thought it was from the street tacos i ate the night before but when 12 of the 20 students including me all starting puking and having to use 1 bathroom, that is when the horror really started to set in. So, let me tell ya it was a rough and rather disgusting 24 hours. i am happy to say that after that everyone is now better but wow, what a deal. Esp. when you are sick all you want are a few modern comforts and when those arent available, like cold water or a cold 7 up things can really seem bleak. i really just wanted my Mom to be there to crush up some ice cubes and tell me that I would be better and a nice private bathroom on which to curl up on a clean cold tile floor. but, when you are working with a fairly nasty bathroom, luke warm water and high temps and humidity and sickness, well, let me tell ya things can get depressing fast. then you think of all the laundry you are doing to have to do by hand and where the water is going to come from to do the laundry and who is going to put on the water (it is usually me) and it involves a bit of a hike, and i wonder what i got myself into. well, that was a few days ago and after a few days of feeling sorry for myself, i am feeling almost back to normal, a few pounds lighter and a little weaker, but im coming back around.

sometimes things are just tough here. there are some days my brain is working really well and other days it is like my brain has had way too much and it just shuts down and even processing simple transactions can be difficult. i am constantly trying to guess what my co workers are thinking and how they are reacting to what i say and do and it is still hard to get in the groove of things because they are basing every action on a cultural perspective about exactly the opposite of what we have in the states. So everything can be complicated as i am trying to take care of my own needs and trying to anticipate what those i am working with are going to do esp. when communication is indirect and i basically have to read minds to get the answer. i can ask a very direct question and not really get a response adn then i ask again and get a different response less than 30 sec. later so then i go into the well, lets see what happens mode. for instance, i am was sitting with my counterpart in his truck in town, he points to an ice cream shop and asks if i want to use internet, tehre is no sign for internet, only an ice cream shop. well, ok, so i think maybe we are getting ice cream first, so i go in and suddenly 2 brand new notebook computers and wireless internet it produced from behind the counter out of no where. then my counterpart is like, what ice cream are you going to buy me? okay, so i guess i am buying ice cream....ok and here some two more people, guess i am buying their ice cream too. and now we are having ice cream and i am trying to do internet and help him with his internet too and he is telling me to watch his truck which he left running across the road, for like half an hour at this point, and now he just left in his truck and i dont know where he went or when he is coming back or where we are going to meet him. luckily my friend kevin is here and i have him to hang out with and to try to figure out what the plan is later, but it is stuff like this, where it is constant not knowing what is going on, not getting clear answers, that can be a little difficult at times. in this job, you have to be very ok with ambiguity and not knowing what the hell is going on about 50% of the time if you are lucky.

so dont worry i am still surviving here and i am feeling better and just thankful for my health which hangs in a precarious balance down here, something ready to bring you down the moment you let your guard down.

that is all for now...miss everyone like crazy and cant wait til you all come down to visit.

love you tons!
Tara